Gentle Ramblings...Fearful & Otherwise

chaos approaches....

2005-12-23T10:06:00.000-08:00

oooo tis the season to be a retard fa la la la la la la la laaaaaaaaa

Everyone...send Don some comforting chi energy to try to rest his frantic heart and mind....the man needs some calm...send him calm.

I work in 4 hrs.
It is gunna be a freakshow....Jerry Springer-ish i bet. All the desperate, last minute freaks trying to get shit done in crowds and deadlines looming! INSANE!!

I admire ppl that dont buy into the garbage...I dont believe in god...or christmas, in fact I think its a monumental waste of good resources but yet damn those twinkly lights all to hell i love to buy ppl stuff. I am evil...I love to make ppl stuff too but that requires a lot of time and planning that is hard to come by.
One year I decided i was making some of my little witch concoctions for everyone in lieu of a bought gift...I was very into making all these granola head lip blams and herbal ointments from olive oil and beeswax and freakishly expensive essential oils etc...used to sell them as well...so I decide im gunna make HOME MADE CHEST RUB...mmmmmm camphor...eucalyptus...tea tree...wintergreen ...peppermint oils...we wont talk about the cost involved at the end of it all...but damn that shit smelled good....nothing like getting a 20 fucking dollar jar of chest rub for xmas that u could have bought at the drugstore for 3.00 hahahahahahah doi! Oh well it was fun! I had the time then to have projects and hobbies and hunt the beaches for beachglass and other various treasures for driftwood projects...I have the time to grate beeswax and try to get the best beeswax at the cheapest price from the beekeepers...I used to make bread and sell it...full of seeds and other goodies...bread that could sink a tanker it was so heavy...it made the best toast.
I used to write more...draw... I used to be a better mom...ooo the good ol days hey!
Oooo well it is what it is...
I have 12 cents in the bank (I RULE) hahahaha
this entertains me...Im usually a little better off but the 3 paychq month has me all outta whack...weird how that works...
I have decided I wanna make out under a pistachio tree as the nuts are cracking open over my head....how fucking cool woud that be!!??????
My child is an ingrate...she will NOT go to the store and get me yogurt....and this RIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS TIME????!?!?!!? bold hey? She is reading this as I type, laughing at my dramatics...she will pay...she will pay dearly....MuHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

While u are sending good vibes out....send some out to Lucy too plz who is currently undergoing treatment of a radioactive nature...

im off....ta ta!

living in the now...

2005-12-21T22:52:00.000-08:00

im not sure im so good at that...it feels limbo-ish...not in a negative way but...even though i dont worry about shit like RRSPs & old age pension survival it can be difficult to just live in the present and not think ahead...
another life lesson...gawd by 40 im gunna be a genius...ok maybe not.

work today was mental...the next 2 days are going to be nutty...I close Dec 23rd and holy hell thats gunna be a freak show...thank gawd i have 5 days off afterwards.

aunty cathy is a lovely house guest...she did all the laundry the other day...has cooked dinner and damn near had it on the table 4 when i get home from work...she does dishes...shops...damn...its like heaven!
we enjoy kicking her ass at cards too.

fuck i really wanna be profound tonight but i dont think i have it in me...I rarely seem to have anyhting profound to say...Ooo wait thats b/c im NOT actually profound as an individual MuHAHAHAHAHA
oops i always forget that.

Ghetto Sponge-Bob

2005-12-20T23:08:00.000-08:00

WOOOO frikkin HOOOOO

2005-12-20T22:29:00.000-08:00

Jen doing a big awkward silly looking HAPPY DANCE....

YeeeHaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Guess who got a job in Victoria today??? GUESS??? yeah! DON! woooohoooo Merry Xmas to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Ok so its not in Vic, its in Sidney but thats not that far...better then Bumfuck Comox, BC alright! yeeehaaaaaa

So excited I could pee!

Vikings Rule

2005-12-20T09:25:00.000-08:00

Don's in town today briefly for a job interview....*squeeeeeel*
I have everything crossable crossed...
I am doing the dance of PLEASE GET THIS NEW JOB DOWN HERE SO I WONT PERISH dance and making up voodoo spells to curse all other applicants....
It sounds like a PERFECT Don job...
plz o plz o plz o Universe...shine some loveliness down on the Don and make this so!

4 more days of work then I have 5 off...holy hell itll be frantic busy but I can't wait 4 all the activity...baby sniffing...lover loving...family freakiness...itll be grand!

Saw NARNIA last night....was quite lovely...I liken it to a Lord of the Rings for kids...I enjoyed it.
Ayla loved it...I am hoping she will now read the books ive been trying to get her to read for 5 yrs.

popcorn fart brigade

2005-12-19T07:29:00.000-08:00

Xmas looms closer...
I generally think xmas is retarded and the obligatory nature of it pisses me off and i hate but this year its all feeling different 4 me...not b/c i give a flying fuck about xmas in general but b/c its gunna be so different...I am dragging my 1st boy home to meet the family (something I always avoided)...and get to SEE him which is a treat all in itself...and I just have a good feeling about it...which is not typical haha
Helps that Aunty Cathy is here now...we have a lot of fun. Last night after some rounds of Old Maid we all damn near pissed our pants from laughing so hard...b/c Cathy lost EVERY hand hahah
Tonight after work im meeting Cathy and Ayla down town to see the Narnia movie...that will be good...Poor Don is ILL and probably wishes he would die right about now... :(

Looking fwd to seeing the family...esp Maddie the wonder baby...omfg im such a loser i went out and bought a bottle of Johnson's Lavender whatthefuckever baby lotion stuff so i can use it and smell BABY all the time now! hahahaha Thats bordering on disturbed im sure.

Aunty Pam called last night and Ayla blubbered for a while after...how she adores her aunty pam...its quite sweet and annoying but more sweet. haha

All week im working middle shifts...this will make 4 a more productive week thank gawd...then im off the 24 25 26 27 28th....Oooo the blissssssssssssssssssssssss
Boxing Day I will be ferrying over to Comox to spend the night at Don's which will be interesting...ive been wanting to see him on his own turf.

Bruce is back among the living somewhat...this is a good thing b/c I was in serious abandonment mode...

OK....gotta fly....
QUESTION OF THE DAY:

if we all lived on fantasy island and u got to pick ONE thing to get 4 xmas what would it be??? ANYTHING????

$$$ $$$ $$$ Do ittttttttt

2005-12-16T22:52:00.000-08:00

CLICK HERE if you are feeling generous this season...
(thats Joey!! ---->)
Give Joey a helping hand. He is a real life person, I went to school with his sister and knew him when he was a wee brat...he is still here despite cystic fibrosis so buy a damn bracelet already u cheap twats!
I am getting one...not only yo help but b/c my name starts with a J so its perfect haha
joeywhitford@shaw.ca

Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow...

2005-12-16T19:21:00.000-08:00

Oooo it is a friday night in the chilly city of Victoria BC....
Ayla's in a decent mood...Bruce is MSNing me FOR ONCE and making me laugh...saying Hugh Heffner copied HIS life style, not the other way around. ha!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRACEY!!!

I am wishing for cashews & chocolate....

Don is currently watching DONNY DARKO & I am eagerly awaiting his critique.
2nd time I watched it with Erica we talked our way through it and it made more sense....I quite like it...

I am going to boil myself in the bath shortly...

the nerve!

2005-12-16T06:13:00.000-08:00

I just got dressed for work and my kid laughed at my outfit.

Please spank her when you see her next.
Over the knee...don't hold back.

Funeral/Tourette's Update

2005-12-14T09:10:00.000-08:00

recent email from Deanna:

re: the tourette's woman-
-i swear i have never noticed her anywhere in town before and then yesterday i saw her in the walmart parking lot AND at the thrift shop. i think she is following me....

Mute Tourette's!! ---->

back up the truck...

2005-12-14T07:52:00.000-08:00

last night , after a recent epiphany, I decided to do some journaling...so I get out my *JEN JOURNAL* as opposed to the one I keep for Ayla...and the one I write to my brother in...
its a pretty little thing I got fromn JerriAnn...covered in lovely faeries...so I start reading it and it starts in 1998 and good gawd its funny reading....full of all sorts of wisdom
*see right hahaha* ---->
Anyway...so im reading and im a little taken aback by the recurring issues etc and im giggling b/c some of it is so fucking retarded...it makes me want to burn it but i wont.
I got so into reading it I didnt even write in it...
it's like a bad soap opera...with a lot of swearing and mindful self examination.
I dont work til 230 today...I havent closed in ages...this will seriously impact my Don Time...although im sure he will put his night to good use and actually get something done for a change.
Today...I have a few tasks to complete and work on...I completely blew the agreement Don and I made about making each other something 4 xmas...I am making him something but I have also already filled it with shit i didnt make hahaha although TECHNICALLY I made the $ myself soooooooooooo in essence i made the gift right? MuHAHAHAHAHAHAH yeah ok dumbass.
I have never had a *man* join me for xmas with my family before...in fact ive generally never been with anyone I that I liked having around my family...once I had a guy come to my aunts wedding and what a damn horror show that was. ugh Anyway...Im quite looking fwd to it, it is going to be fun and weird thats for sure b/c I know Don doesnt miss ANYTHING and some of my family members are gunna crack him up.
I was planning to really freak Ray out this xmas (Kelly's husband Ray, who is always wanting me to hug him and I refuse) with something I planned this summer but im not sure I can now...I think id have to be pretty liquored to do that and Im not sure I wanna go there now haha

Email of the Day:

2005-12-13T09:37:00.000-08:00

brought to you by Deanna~

so I was at that funeral the other day....
the place was filling up quick and I found a seat next to this refined looking middle aged woman dressed in full-on funeral garb.
I realized quite quickly that she had ummm .....some issues. Turns out she had tourette's... so all through this service that was all quiet and solemn she flailed and twitched and grunted and barked like a dog. *ruff ruff.....uh huh uh huh....ruff...snort...grrrr... giggle giggle....uh huh uh huh...ruff* with her hand whipping out unexpectedly and whacking me repeatedly on the arm. It was very fucking disconcerting, I gotta say.

Rob Pequin is who passed on...sorry to say. I havent seen him in a long while but I know hes left some very lovely daughters behind who will miss him dearly.
I will always have fond memories of Rob and piggy-backing him down Sutherland Street in high school with Jackie (she had one leg) boogying up behind on a crutch she could motor on like nobodies business...

Jumpin' On Mom's Bed

2005-12-11T19:03:00.000-08:00

Don & Jen and Jen's Double Chin

2005-12-11T19:01:00.000-08:00

Tick Tock Tick Tock

2005-12-09T18:39:00.000-08:00

.....time is ticking ever so slowly.... Don and Sprogs should arrive within the hour....the house is as tiddled as its gunna be and I smell as good as I am ever gunna hahha

work was RETARDED today...one man down and busy as a mofo....add in some training and technical snafus and u have yourself a fucked up day...the new girl is a hoot...she will fit right in...she is odd and trashy like the rest of us.

Ok im gunna go get real excited and try not to throw up....

Earwigs According to Granny

2005-12-09T05:17:00.000-08:00

This is for Vicki...he he he

I'd never seen an earwig on the prairies but when I was a kid and moved to the coast my Granny was quick to tell me that an earwigs main goal in life is to try to get into humans ears and crawl to the brain and drive the person mad.
This STUCK in my head...much like the JAWS movie i saw at 10 yrs old, forever ruining swimming for me.
So....alls well and good...earwigs are gross...none ever ate my brain and drove me mad...
But poor Ayla...one time she was out in her cool fancy playhouse built by her Uncle Jimmy...
and she came across her harmonica (you know where this is going dont u) and held it up to her mouth to inhale to play and OHHHH LOOOKKKK ITS FULL OF EARWIGS.........argggggg!!
She makes the most amazing grossed out face when you ask her about it to this day...Im pretty sure that ended her career as an olympic harmonica player.
*shiver*

PS Don and Co are coming today....*squeeeeeeeeeeeeeel*

People I spend 8 Hrs a day with and don't hate

2005-12-08T07:48:00.000-08:00

Sassy Mandee

The Holy Stapler

Swammy Mike, meditating

Smiling Mel...smiling b/c shes not enduring another Winterpeg winter this yearMike & Mel

Cranky Wench

2005-12-07T20:37:00.000-08:00

I feel like being profound but...its just not coming to me tonight...

I have one nerve left and my kid is stomping on it like theres no tomorrow...
I am trying to break down why it is im so highly irritable but ... like being profound, its not coming to me.

I didnt see any ass crack today sadly... although I did see a woman who im sure put her make up on in a very dark room...I love watching my kids face when we see something weird on the street...her eyes bug outta her head and she looks over at me trying to make sure I didnt miss it haha

I am still really looking fwd to the weekend...it will be so relaxing and nice to hang out...get lost in the experience...suck up the bliss of someone thinking youre the best thing since sliced irish bread...Oooo yeah...this doesnt happen to ppl nearly enough...feeling like theyre likeable. Should bottle the feeling and sell it. Ok wait let me clarify that...it does happen to some ppl far too often (im sure the greedy fucks dont appreciate it) but hasnt happenedto me NEARLY enough. haha

the day of butt crack....

2005-12-07T05:31:00.000-08:00

ok heres a funny work story...
yesterday a guy comes in...this is the guy who will only deal with me at work and says stuff like *its too bad youre married, id like to take you out* ... so he comes in to discuss an issue with me, and is quite upset as he just had back surgery - well I guess he felt the need to PROVE it b/c he turned around and his shirt flew up and he yanked his pants down exposing a lovely surgery scar AND HIS ASS CRACK. Ooooo yes...all I could hear from the back from Mike behind the mirror/glass is *is he MOONING you???!!!* hahahahahhahahahahahaha hows that for a highlight of the day! I know you are all jealous.

My bladder is so ready to explode right now I cant even describe the sensation to you all.

2 more sleeps and my sweety will be on my door step....wooooohooooooooooo

Bladder calls....good day to u all!

I am back in smoothy land!!!

2005-12-06T09:29:00.000-08:00

Yes! I have frozen berries again so life is good!
I work til 7 pm tonight...ugh

I am having nail biting trauma...i am now down to 6 nails from my previous 7....so I am ON THE WAGON and will stop washing my hands if thats what it takes to keep them out of my mouth...
damn oral fixations (muahahhaha)

House is looking pretty rough this week...looks like a wrapping apaper bomb went off...boxes and crap everywhere. I opted to bypass a tree this year as there just isnt any practical place to put it and since we wont be here for XMAS itself wtf...the place is all lit up like a mofo though.

Im giggling at Microsoft's greed in its hurried release of the new x box piece 'o crap thats not working worth a shit for anyone...whatever happened to quality product?

All my shopping is done...I spent all yesterday finishing up...only a few loose ends left now.
Ayla Mz Snoopy Pants has discovered the link to this so I cant spill the beans about what I got her so...(HAHAHA AYLA!)
Ayla's trying hard to be a good sport about the weekend...we had a really nice morning for a change...we talked...and laughed and ranted together before she was off to school. I know she will be a good little sprog and behave for her mom this weekend cuz I KNOW its important to her that im happy....(are you throwing up yet Ayla?) hahaha I love you you little arse!

I watched 2 FATHER TED's last night...Oooo la laaaaaaaa I found myself a little disturbed that Dougal in Elvis garb really turned me on...

Waiting.....

2005-12-05T09:28:00.000-08:00

gay men take forever to leave the house.....

ok...the IN A COMA disc 2 acoustic cd is I think the most brilliant Matt Good creation to date...I hope all his future endeavours are similar in nature b/c he really shines.

i am starting to panic about this month...i so suck at chaos...perhaps an extra prozac will take the edge off....that or irll gimme an eye twitch. sexy

more babble later...

another sunday gone...

2005-12-05T00:30:00.000-08:00

it occurred to me tonight that this month is going to be INSANE...insane in a good way....lotsa company coming and going...the whole xmas thing *ugh* (it is a great excuse to have time off work and see ppl you don't get to see often enough though)...busy at work...some prep work that needs to be done...swooning and pining...its a hard life isn't it?

this weekend will be fun/scary...meeting Don's kids...gawd if they're even half as critical and demented as mine is it'll be REALLY interesting. haha the weekend will be grand though...

tomorrow is Costco shopping day with Shawn...toilet fixing day...mailing crap day...run around like a chicken with its head cut off day...

what are your xmas plans?? do tell.

Holy Hellacious Hermaphrodites

2005-12-03T07:37:00.000-08:00

a neighbors smoke alarm keeps going off...its driving me mad. I dunno whether to panic and run thinking shes lit the damn place on fire or kill her 4 being too damn cheap to replace the battery so it stops going off...idiot.

Bruce has surfaced...I want to talk to him RIGHT NOW but if I called him at this hour and he did manage to get his phone he would likely break my neck as its 740 am on a saturday morning. I also need to talk to Connie...its been a week...that is far far far too long...

After today i get 2 days OFF in a row.....ooo the bliss...

Question of the Day: wheres the weirdest place you ever masturbated?

an oldie but a goodie

2005-12-03T00:26:00.000-08:00

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says,
"Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question."

Neener Neener Neeeeenerrrr

2005-12-02T20:26:00.000-08:00

Ok this is my New Years Sob Story....

I have somehow never had a decent boyfriend on a new years eve...once I did sort of but I think he was asleep by 11 pm.
Anyway the one yr I was so excited to have a bf for the occasion it was sadly my kids dad...and come midnight the said bastard was not only NOT kissing me happy new year he was on the phone with some other girl. *extreme olympic eyeroll*

So since then Ive been fairly ANTI NYs Eve...but then...guess what? This year...I get THE SUPER KAHUNA PRIZE OF ALL NYs PRIZES!!!!!! Yes! its true....not only will I have a bf at NYs BUT hes driving down to make sure I get smooched at midnight...this is just friggin brilliant...and to top it all off thatll make it possibly a 3 visit month MuHAHAHHAHAHAA im such a greedy hag.

Bruce has recently moved and I have yet to track him down...he has been rather elusive for quite some time now...I may have to kick his ass.
Speaking of Bruce ~ he made the mistake of sharing this old halloween picture with me recently so im posting it b/c it is funny as all hell....he is a good clown! *BURN*

My toilet is broken...its functional but we have to MacGyver it to make it flush.....
My xmas shopping has begun...I intend on being damn near done by monday...im keeping it pretty simple this year...

OMG LOOK! VICKI is being TOUCHED by HENRY ROLLINS........ARIKA!! LOOK!

Grrrr

2005-12-02T05:59:00.000-08:00

I am not fond of this template...I do not like the colors but im too thick to easily find the spot in the code to change them haha and those yellow whateverthefucks they are on the sidebar are driving me MAD and i cant find the code for them either...arggg! I shall endure.

I dont work til 10 today...and yes I did wake up at 545 am but that is a 15 min SLEEP in compared to normal so...im going with it as a good start to the day.

Don is being a good dad and is out at this hideous hour delivering papers with his daughter...isnt that endearing? I wonder if id do that for my kid? hahahahaha Yeah I would...she'd flash me her big brown chocolate chips eyes and do her fake crying routine and would suck me in....brat.

Xmas is under way...I am almost done my xmas cards and need to get them mailed...I also need to get busy and order some crap from Sears tonight as well...still got room on that card MuHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA <--- crazy debt ridden laughter!

Anyone seen the Johnny Cash movie yet, WALK THE LINE? I am dieing to see it...I think I will this weekend...someone gimme a review....please....enlighten me.
Seen anything else lately thats worth sharing? Kelly...what was that movie we saw when u and your mom were here, about the Scottish kid and the fake dad? I wanna own that.
NARNIA is looking cool...ive been trying to get my kid to pick up those books for a few yrs now but she wont....maybe the movie will inspire her.

I wanna put my tree up...but...I have an issue of space...as always...I need to go nuts and rip the bedroom closet apart and make it more space effective to cram shit in it...maybe on Sunday thatll be a project I can try to avoid.

LEAVE NOW IF U HAVE A WEAK STOMACH
B/C IM GUNNA SWOON & DROOL:
ok...Ive been kinda quiet on this topic...I know but holy hell...Mr G...aka Don...aka my sweet lovah babe...is fab fab fab...examples if his fabulousness:
~he is a groping-touchy-feely octopus like myself
~he speaks freely to me, without withholding...
~he is funny...smart...literate and writes like a mofo
~he is considerate, mindful of my feelings and a gentleman
~he isnt TOO much of a gentleman thank gawd (MuHAHAHA)
~he possesses impressive talents in areas I shant speak of but im sure u can guess
~he plays guitar...and that gave me a total BONER!
~he is fearless in my presence
~he is a forward mover...despite many reasons to stagnate
~he is a package of loveliness
~he is mature and sensible but doesnt lack the retardation required to be with me
~he and I share similar interests but are different enough so that we have other things to offer the other (and he doesnt drink/smoke/drug) woot woot!
OK ill stop now....I could blather on for 12 yrs...but i wont...I promise not to turn this blog into a big mushy fucktard swoon saloon...I just needed to purge & shout....thank you for not deleting me.

bloody m%#$$$&^#f^&#%$^&#%$ing template

2005-12-01T23:35:00.000-08:00

jesus i hate blogger templates...wait not the templates but the damn weirdness.....shit inserting itself and fucking up my blogger chi!

I still have to tweek this one but...im too tired now....later.

someday i will post a proper blathering of nothingness and lure u all back into my lair of boredom and misery MuHAHAHAHAH

Don and Critters are coming next weekend....weeeee reason to go on another week! Will be interesting!
Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn bed time...

jesus h christ

2005-11-30T20:50:00.000-08:00

something messed up on blogger today...they inserted some gay ass dividers into the template sidebars and fucked everything up.

irritating.

Attack of the Striped Rainbow Underwear

2005-11-30T05:43:00.000-08:00

I have this thing about underwear...
I figure since I am clearly not of a reasonable size to wear the ones I prefer (the little bikini things of my past) I get the gawdiest, cheesiest, silliest ones I can find...
this includes underwear covered in sheep, snowmen, snow flakes, ducks, penguins, cats (ha), odd stripes of various colors etc...
Its my attempt at saying FUCK U to the universe for having to wear retarded underwear...
So there. That's where I stand on the topic of underwear and ppl giggling about my funny striped underwear.

Side Note: I can not call them panties...its like a dirty word (Isabel, is it you who has an aversion to the term panties...?? or someone else?)

Irritation: CODE 4!

2005-11-28T16:38:00.000-08:00

holy shit I think I could have punched someone in the head today....one of those help(less) desk mofo's just itching for a beating being so stupid and useless.....another reason not to ever try and get a tech support job in this company....ugh

ok but im home now and im over it almost....somethings MISSING alright but...what else is new PFFFT!

Ayla is baking a cake....it smells nummy...im not helping her with it...im stepping up the cooking ability lessons so she can fend for herself a little better in my absence.
Im sure she is lapping up all the batter as I type this....even telling her theres raw egg in it doesnt deter her....ha!

I dont work tomorrow thank gawdddddddddddddd......Shawn and I are gunna go do breakfast and swoon over our new men...
then I will do laundry...
and email Don 837456873465873465876345 x....
try to track down Bruce and see what hes up to! He just weasled into some union job thingy so thats way cool....he may be due 4 a visit as well....weeee!!!!!!

Im gunna go DL some music (THIEF THIEF!!!!!!!)
More later....

Operation Don G

2005-11-28T06:12:00.000-08:00

...was a success....

swoon drool thud thud etc.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CONNIE!!!!!!

2005-11-26T07:43:00.000-08:00

Connie is 35 today!
Today is also the DON DAY....
gawd help me I may wet my pants at work....it will be the longest shift of my life I swear....

one more sleep...one more sleep...

2005-11-25T19:44:00.000-08:00

**insert gay retarded giggling here**

I have now knawed my 3 NON GROWN fingernails to the nub...
But I got a hair cut today so im hoping that will make me feel better.

Plz goddess of all that is good and just, do not let the Malahat have snow and be unpassable....do not cause any car accidents....do not cause a tsunami....earthquake...raging winter forrest fire....
sudden spontaneous bladder infections...

HAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAA

2005-11-25T00:09:00.000-08:00

days off rule!!!

2005-11-24T13:50:00.000-08:00

OOoo yes ive had a fab day so far....no kid here....my desk looks reasonable tidy....im rocking out to TOOL and trying to think of something good to make for dinner. I am sure it will involve chicken.

I have some hardcore banking to do today too....not looking fwd to that.

Bruce is studying for a union test of some sort...and actually has to know shit...so my fingers are crossed 4 him cuz if he tests anything like I do he is gunna be shitting himself. He will be moved outta evil Tina's place soon and that may just be the best thing for him...she sounds like a real twat.

Trying to find Don a job too...gotta get him outta that cage hes in @ work and back in the saddle.
2 more sleeps and he will be here ...*squeeeel*...
My kid was attempting to demoralize me in a joking way yesterday...saying ive had sooooo many boyfriends over the years and shes so sick of it....hahahahahahaa this was great fun b/c i knew i was going to win this duel.
Aside from 1 or 2 brief flings that were not even sexual I didnt even have a boyfriend until Ayla was 6. SERIOUS! Yeah im a ho alright....shame on me for being into the mom thing and putting her 1st haha (ok I was very bitter and man hating as well at the time, I admit it)
Then after that crashed and burned after 6 mos about 5 mths later i sadly ended up with asswipe steve and that lasted 1.5 yrs, which in truth was 1 yr too long. He didnt even live in our town though so its not like he was ever around much, which was a blessing.
Yeah.....that was 4 yrs ago.
What a skank I am hey! HA!
She seems to think every guy I ever spoke to or was friends with counts as a boyfriend....and theres no telling her otherwise. It was entertaining anyway, listening to how she perceived events etc.

Xmas (shiver) is on my mind...its gunna be a good one...mainly b/c im getting to spend it with some of my favorite ppl on the planet....wish Kim my sister could come as well but...I absolutely REFUSE to allow myself to be a bummer this xmas....if that means I have to smoke crack then so be it.

Ive begun the dreaded shopping hell...dabbling...I need to figure out wtf im getting my kid....I wanna get her a _________ (hahah Ayla) but im not quite sure yet.
I got Maddie the Cutest Baby Alive on the Planet Right Now a really goofy thing the other day...
one of them RETARDED plug in fake fish aquariums that mounts on the wall....and lights up like a mofo hahahaha I saw it and was thinking how GENIUS to entertain a kid thinking she owned NEMO! ha!
Its so cheesie....I love it. Im all about the cheese man.

I put up xmas lights today...red LED ones...I love how they fuck up my eyesight. I decided I want new frames 4 my glasses....but i probably wont get them b/c im a cheap twat...makes me wish they got kicked off my face at the Matt Good show like the last time I saw him.
I have house insurance....maybe i should see if they got STOLEN theyd get covered....or wait...deductable....NEVERMINDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

My windows are weepy and drippy...cheap ass windows. Anyone know a good trick 4 that aside fr my usual laying down of the towels that go gross and moldy and sit there til spring?

Im bugging the shit out of Don at work today...sending him my latest time wasting story/writing game...he is a good sport...I think he may find me amusing...

Grease Lightning!

2005-11-23T22:36:00.000-08:00

i have tomorrow off....how blissful!

and ive already organized my closets so tomorrow is just flopping and cleaning day...
yes I lead a glamorous life...you are all stewing in jealousy and envy I know it.
work was interesting today.... i had a confrontational moment, saw a guy with no chin (im serious...no chin)...saw some crackheads...meth-heads...
there is a guy who comes in and he talks JUST like Spicoli off FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH....so he was in and Mike mocked him the rest of the day and then went on to quote the real Spicoli and crack me up...
ok I have just been informed I am indeed an idiot.
<---mmm an onion...
Nic...i realize NOW only b/c Don so graciously pointed out my stupidity that u were kidding about the bulb eating hahahaha fuck im dumb as a post.
Either way im glad u arent sick lol

I'd fail that test...

2005-11-23T20:27:00.000-08:00

During a visit to the Mental Asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should beinstitutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty thebathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor.

"A normal person would use the bucketbecause it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull out the plug. Do you want a room with or without a view?"

It's true.....

2005-11-23T05:35:00.000-08:00

Ms Decreased Sexual Side Effects has left the building......

wait....did I say that right...? shit.

its 530 am.....cut me some slack...im still in a coma.

4 days to endure....4 days to get through...4 days...

Hey I won a cd at work the other day off the radio....the new System of a Down cd....its groovy of course....
better than the last one I won....coldplay...which I dont mind but it all sounds like the same song to me....I just traded it with Mike at work for the Metric cd he won from the radio station...

my computer is making weird noises...im sure I have a tojan working some magic in the background and fucking my shit up...

ok im off to boil myself.....
good day to you all.

EXERCISE OF THE DAY:

leave a comment containing one goofy joke.

Thank you.
xo

miserable hideousness

2005-11-22T21:24:00.000-08:00

thats me....

it hit me like a red neck drunk at xmas time....

WHAMMO....el bitcho!

random ramblings from someone with heartburn....

2005-11-21T21:23:00.000-08:00

i need to lose 837456837465873465837465 lbs by the weekend.

any suggestions? and dont even say enemas....thats just wrong.

i need a haircut.

i need to do laundry.

i need to write 2 letters....
one that is long overdue and one that is a needed reminder for someone in trouble...

ADRIENNE!

Introducing Jen w/ Movie Star glasses & a bit o' cleavage!

2005-11-20T07:50:00.000-08:00

when my kid sees I touched her glasses she is going to shit.

Then she will laugh her head off b/c I look like a twat hahahahhaha Btw ~ Mr G is coming to see me next weekend....

*pees pants from excitement*

you need this & you know who you are....

2005-11-17T20:26:00.000-08:00

Henri Nouwen:

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

Survived....

2005-11-15T20:19:00.000-08:00

I am home....
I am back to business...
back to routine...
work...
daily duties and being broke as a mofo.

Trip was good...all the pics are below...
ROLLINS was friggin mental excellent...3 hrs of spoken word and not one moment of boredom...I was laughing so hard I had ot be careful i didnt pee myself.
Scored a new book and dvd at the show, was nice to see he doesnt gouge...
and I just read VICKI met Hank and got pictures!!! AARGGGGGGGGG SOOOOO JEALOUS!!
More details plz MORE MORE MORE........
Vicki it was fab to see u...next time we should hook up for real and go do something.

The homeless/panhandlers were very aggressive as we stood in line for Rollins....to the point where Bruce considered tossing a handful of change in from of oncoming buses to get rid of them HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ouch.

HOLY SHIT it is true....old news to everyone but me im sure but i didnt know BUBBLES aka Mike Smith from the Trailer Park Boys wasnt retarded and also was in the band SANDBOX HAHAHHAHAA
as if..... CLICK HERE to see him in real life....too bizarre. I thought he was retarded like Corky on LIFE GOES ON.
ahhaha

Randomonium!

2005-11-15T18:48:00.000-08:00

Arika & Charlie @ the Railway

Bruce as we waited in line for 2 hrs to gt into see Henry Rollins...was worth the wait w/o a doubt.....got 7th row seats in a small theatre so the view was fab and the show itself was HILARIOUS. Coolest part was I saw VICKI there and got to meet her chat her up a bit....wished we had more time to hang out actually...next time for sure.

Laura came down to Chinatown with us...only b/c she got a flu shot and was convinced she was safe from any germ the slums possessed...haha

the view from Bruce's moms condo in New West

Me...drunk.

Railway

ok i dunno when it happened but i saw this picture of Colin James and nearly shit myself ~ talk about aging well and looking good...

Bruce getting molested by a bear

Arika molesting a bear

BEHOLD! THE BOOBIE!

2005-11-15T17:48:00.000-08:00

Bruce is clearly quite fond of the Boobie

it really is a fabulous thing.....I must go buy more....I want one...

Look....he even takes good care of the Boobie....keeping her clean and pretty....

La Photo Randomino

2005-11-15T17:39:00.000-08:00

Arika the Red Toque Grrl @ the Railway

Oooo the lovely Vogue

Bruce turning into the the Incredible Hulk in the elevator....ok not really but i had him pose like Kori did in the elevator about a month ago so now I think I have a theme lol

@ the Railway theres this framed CARPET of Princess Di and Prince Charles...cracked me up....framed carpet hahahaha

Arika knitting a scarf

In Da Big City

2005-11-13T10:29:00.000-08:00

well lets see....
we survived the ferry ride....
and the rain on the other side...
Bruce arrived hung over and on time (WOOHOO) and we dropped Arika off @ her place...
then decided to make the Cambie a Sunday night thing (sorry Vicki)
....so once we got some beverages we came back to this condo-extraordinaire in New West...
had a drink...Bruce fondled his birthday boobie (pictures to follow)...then we wandered to a stupid pub that used to be California Dreamin' (under the New West skytrain station)...it sucked butt...there was an anorexic waitress....a table of drunk tards and thats about it. Then we wandered up to someother retarded place and stood in line (I have an aversion to this)....funniest thing happened....
some homeless man asked to buy a cigarette off Bruce.....so Bruce just gave him one...and the guy then walked over to some drunk guy and sold him Bruce's cig. for 5 bucks hahahhahaa
Bruce was MIFFED hahahahhaa
I didnt like waiting so we walked home and froze our nards off.....
then we turned out all the lights and sat in front of the giant window overlooking the city/river...very nice.
We played with the boobie for a long while...then I retired...
Mr G send me lovely emails and we have a nice chat this am.....sighhhhhhhh oh la la

Puffy Eyes & Father Ted

2005-11-12T07:36:00.000-08:00

This morning I woke up with messed up puffy eyes....like I'd been crying all night or something...which I was not....the WEIRD thing is I dreamt that my kids dad committed suicide and I was very upset and crying, as it was in the middle of a family wedding that I found out....and then the police brought me his things and...well anyway....I was a little surprised that I was as upset as I was, as I have wished him dead a lot over the years...maybe im growing up now haha Anyway...the point being my frikkin eye is looking a bit OFF and bloody hell if I am going to Vancouver for the 1st time in a few yrs with a fucked up eye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So im walking around with a tea bag strapped to my eye all AM in hopes that will be IT!

Thats right...im off to Vancouver this evening....Brucey shall pick Arika and I up on the other side and then we shall go and explore the city.
and MONDAY is Henry Rollins woot! woot!
Man wouldnt I be a tard if I forgot all 3 tickets @ home? HAHHAAHHAHAHA *shiver*

So lets see, what else is up...?
Mr G is still fabulous....and making me swoon like a loon.
Ayla is as miserable as always. Hormones are kicking her ass and theyre magical hormones b/c she has NO idea she is being evil. Nice hey!
She is mad that I am leaving her for 3-4 days to frolick in the city but she will get over it.

Today is mental day....I have to clean, take out garbage, sew, pack, take fish and child to where shes staying, fix my eyeball, talk to Mr G, email Vicki with my #, take movies back...

Ever seen FATHER TED? this is a funny ass irish show...Mr G sent me a dvd full of episodes and theyre hilarious...

My uterus is ready to defy me at any moment....Im not sure I ever get to travel anywhere and not have to pack half my bag with menstrual products...Im not as bad as Aunty Pam mind u, she spontaneously menstruates no matter what time of the month she travels somewhere hahahha
that is an evil uterus.

No work for 4 days.....get that.....4 days....MuHAHAHAHAHH AHHAHAAH HAHAHAHAHA
I am actually liking work ok these days...Ive settled into my managerial position ok...although I have realized I need to sit with Queen Lani and suck up some of her managerial smarts....I dont really know shit. lol

It was Jerri's Birthday yesterday...and I am a dick and didnt email her...not b/c I didnt remember.....I remembered about 4x at work and even once at home....yet...it escaped me. I will burn in hell 4 certain. Mind u, once she gets my treat box I sent her and she eats rice out of the elephant bowl I sent she will forgive me. lol

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JERRI !!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway...I havent read a blog in ages...I miss you all...even the freaks! I will send u my Vancouver adventures and pictures upon my return....or earlier.

Mr G, you can look fwd to at least one drunken, emotionally retarded, badly typed (typical) but funny email over the weekend...

I have a calling card! BEWARE!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRUCEY!!!!

2005-11-10T06:17:00.000-08:00

he is 36 today MuHAHAHAHAHA

he never reads this so I can say that MuHAHAHAHAHAHA

waiting for a nuclear attack....

2005-11-08T19:23:00.000-08:00

holy I suck hey!?
I had co. all weekend....lovely smelling Maddie and her Mom and her Gramma...nice time.
I have also been acting like a 16 yr old with my new smitten man...Don...yes...I have reverted back to mid teen goofiness and im going with the flow b/c I love it...I deserve it...ppl like me...hahahha

I am behind on many things....letter writing, email, household tasks, blog reading & writing....trip preparation....
Yes Vickie I will be in town for Rollins....I think this Sat. night we will be going to the Cambie...interest you at all? Email me if you'd like to make a plan of sorts.
Did you go see MG at the Commodore?

I saw a midget ysterday.....not just any midget...this midget was a MINISTER ~ ohhh yessss
we were in a restaurant and there was a group of ODD ppl sitting behind us....then the midget walked up and was introduced as a MINISTER....this sent me into a hysterical coma and Kelly launched into Lollipop Guild sings...and a string of inappropriate, rude and immature jokes about half orders & the wizard of oz. I am so juvenile...but the pecan flan was to die for.

Bruce will be housesitting when im in the city and the place has a POOOOOOOOOOOL...this makes me SOOOOO excited.....

and so it goes.....

2005-11-05T08:23:00.000-08:00

I had no internet, no tv cable and no telephone for over 24 hrs and let me tell you....I am still experiencing post traumatic stress disorder over it.
Take 2.....I can live w/o 2...but all 3....TRAVESTY...I couldnt email...blog.....call anyone....or watch gay mindless tv.
Oh well I survived...I went to bed at 930 pm HAHAHAHA

Kelly and Baby will be here at noon...my house is a dump...and do u know why its a dump? Because instead of cleaning last night I spent 7 hrs talking to Don...yes someone can stand me for 7 hrs..I was shocked myself. We are smitten but....I am still trying my best to scare him off in typical Jen fashion, b/c its just what I do.
You would all be proud of me though...upon learning his ex was attractive I managed to not demand a picture....this is new for me. I would generally torture myself over something like that hahaha OMG maybe I am finally growing up! *gasp*

Works been decent....I have today and tomorrow off so I can say that haha
This management *thing* is kinda weird...believe it or not, I may be a bulldozer personality....I am not entirely comfortable with bossing ppl around....
Bruce would laugh heartily at that (he thinks im uber bossy) if he was ever around to talk to me......ARG! he is talking to me again but has been scarce...he better fucking smarten up b4 the Rollins weekend or he is in for it! I will torture him to hell and back. Cool thing about that weekend is Laura will be coming out too so it will really be a hoot....

<---my kid is driving me insane lately...its like no matter what she does or says it sets me off on this ridiculous rant....pre teen hell...she puches all my buttons...I need to callous myself again.

Ok time to go nutty and clean myself into a freakish coma.
Isabel, Check your mail soon.

Later Taters

This post has no title

2005-11-05T08:18:00.000-08:00

Sexy Bitch Pants....

2005-11-02T18:45:00.000-08:00

I wore new pants today and I felt like a different person.
Only im not.

I am freezing after a nap...but so refreshed...I needed a little siesta.

Listen ot this conversation at work yesterday:

Me: How are you today? (sorry I asked)
Customer: ooo not soo good....I have some weird bacterial thing I caught at the hospital (she says this as I am holding something she has been holding in her hand for 10 mins)
Me: Oh dear
Then she rolls up her sleave
Customer: LOOK!
and there it was, this oozing green hole in her forearm about as big as a quarter.

BARF

My job so rocks!

More later

The Devil Lives Up Island....(snicker)

2005-11-01T07:07:00.000-08:00

So look at me....I have been a lunatic as of late....Ive read none of the usual blogs I read and certainly have not been doing well with my own.

Last night I drempt I was dying my hair black whilst wearing a favorite shirt that I was dribbling black crap all over......Raymi was in my dream. In my dream she was not speaking to me, still mad @ me over the horse thing hahaha I thought htat was kinda funny...that girl holds a grudge even in my subconscious haha

Omfg....its MONTH END @ work...they really must think of a remedy for that.

My kid is on the couch brushing her hair hard, grumbling b/c I told her to wear clean pants...someone call social services..I should be locked up.

I made it through my funk w/o biting any nails off...Im still growing strong @ 7!!!!!! woooohoooo
Ok b-bye...

Halloween 2005

2005-11-01T00:34:00.000-08:00

The Dark Faery Duo

Ha!

2005-10-31T06:01:00.000-08:00

I think I am smitten and he isn't even a loser or a jerk (I tend to only like losers and jerks)...

40 YR OLD VIRGIN was a funny ass movie....so so so funny....makes me wanna go get ym chest hair waxed (nottttttttttttttttt)....

Bruce is talkin to me again.....this is good....I was having withdrawals...

My kid is home....whiney and complainy as per usual....halloween pics to follow later....she is a dead faery....or a dark faery....whatever her mood is. ha!

***no infants or dogs were injured during this photoshoot!***

Pictures of Cuteness

2005-10-29T09:49:00.000-07:00

Tito & Ayla

Ayla & the new Gerber baby MADDIE!
OMFG I want to eat her up!

Beer and Thai Food

2005-10-28T16:14:00.000-07:00

today is beer and thai food day.
ive invited mel from work over for drinks and dinner...shes new to town and i quite like her...

my house is full of fruit flies which is a huge pet peeve of mine due to some bananas I forgot about on the counter.
my house is also scattered with clippings and shit from my birthday box masterpiece for Bruce...
Bruce is still not speaking to me and thats ok...he will someday...ive dettached emotionally i think...which is a good thing ~ it feels better....
So...im still having fun with this birthday box decorating....b/c I know he will pee his pants when he gets it...I want him to have a COOL birthday present come in the mail! Whats more exciting than that...!?!?!?!?!
If he isnt talking to me by then it'll be weird but....oh well. he gets the cool present whether he wants it or not haha That's me....bulldozing again but....oh well. He is still my sweet crack boy.

Today I was walking to work and i get half way there...its 7 am, dark, I have music blasting in my ears walking through the ghetto....and a capsule i took about 10 mins before all of the sudden flew up out of my stomach into my throat and fucking exploded......so all the medicine was gurgling in my neck and i started sputtering and gagging like a fucktard...naturally some guy was walking by as im half barfing in my hair and making all sorts of sick gag noises.....I so wanted water...but all i had were pumpkin seeds in my bag so I started showing them in my mouth to get the goo down but ugh not so helpful....anyway...that was my fun of the day.

I am now off for 2 days....my kid comes home tomorrow.....woooooohooooooo Pam and Maggie are driving her down and staying over night...Pams too chicken to let her take the train....hahaha Im not but Pam is....how funny.

I made a new friend recently....I will call him Don...he makes me smile...

My mom never mentioned she got our birthday package in the mail 2 wks ago....next year plz someone remind me to send her a card and end this evil cycle.

I am off....live well and prosper u fuckers.

TAPPING BALLS! (hahaha this makes me laugh)

2005-10-27T05:56:00.000-07:00

HandHeld Massagers -

Bongers Tapping Balls (set of 2 body sticks)
BongersBongers - Body Sticks - Tapping Balls Massage Tools Bongers -
Free Quick Shipping
Sore Muscles --Headaches --Poor Circulation

Maggie foudn them..how resourceful! I really want one now....I think ill order one...seriously...they feel awesome!

HEY!

2005-10-26T06:41:00.000-07:00

u know those massager things....theyre a rubber ball on the end of a bendy piece of metal so u can thump the shit out of your back/neck??
my old boss used to have one and id pay 45 million dollars 4 one right now....
anyone know what theyre called?

Groggalicious

2005-10-26T05:50:00.000-07:00

I was too whacked on muscle relaxants to post last night....or do anything productive 4 that matter.

Tonight im getting a new ISP and phone....mmm shaw digital phone....then youll all be sorry...all my calls in canada and the US will be FREE for me MuHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

everyone say AWWWWWWWW

2005-10-25T17:43:00.000-07:00

Snap!

2005-10-24T22:07:00.000-07:00

Me melting my face.....

web that sadly didnt look as cool in the pic as it did in real life...
Jenny...gimme some ice cream bitch!
Shawn the Tech God

My pretend ER boyfriend
Shawn taking it like a man!!!!
Arika all ghostly....

My little sproglette

All this cyber hugging....

2005-10-24T22:00:00.000-07:00

is making me horny....quit it.
i am fine.....i had a very busy work day....and made sure i made plans 4 tonight to keep busy....i treated shawn to a dinner out down by the water cuz hes always doing nice stuff 4 me so i figured the gesture was well deserved....we had a lovely dinner...he scoped the place 4 hot gay men and i wiped dribble off my boob-shelf every other bite....
then we strolled....and i took pictures and pissed him off a little...
got a few funnies ill post after this...him getting buttfucked by a bear etc. good times....

bruce is off chatting up girls or sleeping...i could have told him i wanted him to chat me up and make me laugh tongiht but i figured hes entitled to a break...haha and i didnt want him to think i was manipulating him so...im so nice.

no one in my family remembers the date...not even my mom im pretty sure...except my sister who im sure is feeling like kaka today...she already wrote me yesterday flailing and panicking...
i dunno why im so calm...must be the prozac.
i love prozac...prozac is my new best friend.

ill probably go to bed early tonight....write a little....drift off....
thanks to u huggy freaks...
light a candle...
rock on.

Light a Candle

2005-10-24T05:50:00.000-07:00

my brother did not take care of his cds....he had thousands of cds and every damn one of them was scratched and skipped like a mofo.
he was also generous to a fault...sacrificing himself often for the happiness of others...which is why suicide seemed out of character for him...he knew full well it would fuck everyone up...but he was that desperate.
im sure id be an aunty by now if he were still here...he would have knocked someone up....haha now its all up to my little sister to make me an aunty...lotsa pressure....im desperate. im not having more of my own so im relying on siblings and cousins to keep me in the baby-sniffing way...
so....little brother Glenn...the world is a lesser place w/o you in it...carry on we shall, like it or not....
all of you go hug someone you love today...and appreciate the hell out of them.

xo

time keeps on ticking....

2005-10-23T01:33:00.000-07:00

No matter what...
Tomorrow Oct 24 it will be 5 yrs since my brother died...I say this all the time but its true, it seems like an hour ago and an eon ago all at the same time....
just when I think and worry that I am too used to the new world w/o him in it I get struck by a deadening wave of grief...it washes over my rawness like gasoline....burning through my layers....which in turn makes me happy and glad...I'd rather endure that then have it be gone...b/c with it gone...i'd feel like a traitor or something...almost like my internal suffering signifies his importance to me and the universe...not terribly rational but..whatever.
What is the point of being rational in a fucked irrational world?

It's after midnight...I am listening to Tool...
I am looking through a book I grabbed from a thrift store a while ago....Edgar Allan Poe...

"...And now have I not told you that what you mistake for madness is but over-acuteness of the senses?...."

I like that.

Bruce got stood up....I was ditched as well this evening......that's kind of funny really. Irony. Or something.
I was thinking about my upcoming trip to Vancouver...who I still knew there...Laura and Bruce...that's it haha Anthony moved to Australia...and everyone else I either dont talk to anymore or I just forgot about them.
I am really ticked I didnt get to see Tin Foil Phoenix tonight....more ticked than I can articulate...
I also wasted 17 mins of my life talking to a guy on MSN today that was a complete and utter asshole...you know the type..thinks he is smarter than you are, plays amateur pop psychologist on you b/c you laughed after a sarcastic comment and acts like he has u all figured out...and takes it personally b/c your MSN status message says "GO HUMP YOURSELF"....hello my name is buttfuck....errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr eejit!

I'll be jiggered.......

2005-10-22T10:30:00.000-07:00

I dunno what jiggered means...I hope its nothing weird and offensive.

Well, funny how talking works for clearing up misconceptions...Bruce is not secretly falling in mad freaky love with me like I secretly hoped...he has a date. I am not upset by this since I had 2 this week and got to make out even...but it stings cuz gawd dammit I was hoping he would come around to the dark side. That will teach me 4 letting hope live on in my heart *hahaha drama grrl* It is really all good....what is most sad to me is all this time hes taken a lot of what I have said as attempted guilt trips...which I was not consciously trying to do....but now I have to analyze everything I say to ensure im not becoming my mother....she is evil passive-aggressive.
Passive-aggressive behaviour is my most NON FAVORITE behaviour...I strive to not be P-A and i loathe it in others....I think im horrified Bruce will get a girlfriend and leave me in the dust...nothing like fear based behaviour to make u look like a fuckwad.
I just spent so much time looking for him now that I have him back the idea is daunting I guess...
I think we cleared it up though...
I do hope if I come back as somethng in my next life its a well adjusted tortoise. They dont see to let shit bother them...

Anyhoo....tonight after work Mike and I might go do something...he lives down the street...he is a pretty cool guy... we had a hoot sharing sordid family stories over beers on Tuesday...it was quite entertaining....I think he will be a good chum.
Paul is my favorite make out friend now.... I need to have him over again....while I have no kid here cuz once i do its back to reading myself to sleep at night hahahaha loser

I have so much work to do but yet im not doing it.
I need to go eat yogurt. Good bye.

Fucking on Stairs

2005-10-22T00:19:00.000-07:00

Ppl should not fuck on the stairs....i just went to see HISTORY OF VIOLENCE and despite Viggo being in it it was hideous....the screenplay was complete shyte and the acting even worse...the whole theatre laughed at it it was so gay...I kept waiting for the part Brianna talked about...the LIVELY ORAL SEX SCENE....yep that was lively alright...had a good laugh...the fucking on the stairs though was the top banana...as if any woman would not be crippled after such an experience...? Jesus....

Anyway...dont go see it. its retarded and bad.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayIsapI.dll?ViewItem&item=8335653541
check out this ebay sale HAHAHAHA fuck thats funny

ok im tired....

retarded day

2005-10-20T21:12:00.000-07:00

thank gawd this day is nearly done....
i was a walking fuck up today ... mistake after mistake after mistake....ugh
definitely did not find my chi today...
maybe tomorrow.

im actually in a pissy pissy mood ... i think i would find great comfort in punching someone in the face right now.

Look at my friend Laura....and her tshirt hahaha Man, Laura u are looking HOT........

What I did today....

2005-10-19T20:01:00.000-07:00

I watched a bestiality vid that I got off a newsgroup im on and sent them around to share the horror of it and managed to traumatize poor Charlie on his birthday (sorry man) and then pissed off Raymi so she's forbid me from ever emailing her again and took me off her blog roll....im sure I should be feeling slighted or disturbed but it entertains the shit out of me.
Grossed Bruce out pretty good too....some ppl are so sensitive.

Last night was a trip...made a new friend and had a damn good time for an old broad haha

Next week I get a new # and new internet cuz im switching to Shaw's new fangled phone service...so look out Isabel etc b/c ill be able to call all over Canada and the US for freeeeee wooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
maybe I will call Raymi and say im sorry......................OR NOT.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARLIE & RYAN McMAHON!!!!!

sewing is like driving....

2005-10-18T17:40:00.000-07:00

if I drive like I sew i pity the ppl on the road....
I finally learned how to drive a few yrs ago....then i moved here and cant be bothered to follow through with getting my license b/c really...I have no car, dont want a car...so wtf is the point?
anyhoo...if i needed to drive to the hospital i could...
But whenever I am sewing and I have my foot on the pedal....I have a need for speeeeeeeed....
probably good I dont wanna have a car. ha!
what a gay post.
Arika and I are hitting Darcy's tonight for dinner, drinks and live music...woot! woot!

gay margarita-ville

2005-10-17T23:23:00.000-07:00

i think i spelled margarita wrong but i dont care.

well lots has been going on...the sprog headed back to powell river since theres no school due to the strike so i am kidless...and have tomorrow and wed. off so i am blissful.

tonight i went with shawn to see IN HER SHOES with his friend steve. i hope im not turning into a fag hag...i really like hanging out with gay guys.
I really liked the movie....saw ELIZABETHTOWN last night and fucking loved it too...Cameron Crowe ROCKS!
after the flick we went ot earls for margaritas....had a beer and virgin chi chi....mmmmm

shawn looked so sad tonight i wanted to hug him and im not generally a huggy individual....
his friend steve was cute as hell...id rather hug shawn though...
i like hugging bruce too...i guess im not into chicks...lol

I walked 55 mall miles today.....

2005-10-15T20:00:00.000-07:00

ooo how I hate the mall.....hate it.

Menstruation...bad tartar sauce & virgin chi-chi's

2005-10-15T09:04:00.000-07:00

Ooooo Aunty Pam is here visiting and its been fun already....we both are on the rag so the banter is hilarious and Ayla is nasty grossed out by us...esp when Pam asks her if shes got hers yet and Ayla died 100000000 deaths and rolls her eyes and says *nooooooo*.....and desperately tries to change the subject. Hhahaha HAHhahaha AHhahahaha
Went for dinner last night at the South Bay Pub...la crap service...and bad tartar sauce man....they were redeemed by the yummy virgin chichi though and the fab cheese cake. Pam is outside smoking and drinking her mud thick coffee, making friends with all the bldg crackheads trying to mooch cigarettes off her...haha
I have today off....yesterday wasnt nearly as bad as anticipated...the B. of the Bitch Store wasnt there so it was a cool day...busy as a mofo though & completely scatterbrained....I dont like that store. lol
We may see a movie today...do a bit of shopping...gotta finish filling Bruce's birthday box....my aunt was looking at it last night and laughing..I have it decorated really funny...its something he will keep treasures in after his bday is over i think...it would be sacreligious to get rid of it ever.
I also have to get cracking on making him a comic...apparently in highschool I was the queen of comic making...and he has been bugging me for one so....i will hunker down and get busy on one to include...I have a lot of really great TOPICs to cover in it....stalking...barfing...drinking...kindred lovey friendship...him carrying my purse...etc...it will be grand!
My kid may go back to PR with Pam this week since the teachers are on strike anyhow....dunno how long the strike will last but I think they should go gangbusters since they bothered at all...
My name is Marge and Im a Bore-A-Holic.....lol

Friday Tumultuous Tribulations

2005-10-14T06:49:00.000-07:00

Can u see the guys head in the coffee beans?

if I spelled both those T words wight I RULE!!!!!

Today I am working 8 hrs of overtime at the cranky b. store and I am not looking fwd to it WHATSOEVER.....I wish I could get drunk b4 I went to work, then it would at least be interesting....

Aunt Pam is coming to visit today for the weekend....woooot woooot!!! I think she wants to go to the casino on Saturday...hahaha gawd help us all.

Vicki....could u please email me your address so I can mail you something....dont be scared...im not dangerous...in fact you'll be glad u did.
Email me at tinkers AT telus DOT net please and thank you....this of course is assuming you'll read this sometime this week...i am so cocky...

Fuck....the tomato boat has officially docked and I still look like a facial leper...and I itch. FUCK...
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK FUCKITY FUCK FUCKKKKKKKKK

PS: holy motherfuckinshit I drempt (sp) I was feeling up the hottest guy last night....and he wasnt running away from me like Bruce does (HAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAA) Seriously....whoever he was THANK YOU...I needed that.

jesusmutherfukkinchrist

2005-10-12T22:39:00.000-07:00

ok no more bug talk....I cant take it anymore. I need to join a support group as it is.

I had an interesting talk with someone today who was feeling frazzled....not just overwhelmed but like...they had something truly wrong with them...knowing this person how I do, I know there is nothing wrong with them as far as them being ADHD or whatever...I think we live in a world of overstimulation...we dont eat right...we drink/drug too much, we take meds to prevent us from committing homicide/suicide, we are driven by the almighty dollar whether we like it or not, we watch too much tv, play too many video games/waste too much time on these piece of crap boob boxes...we are collectively disassociated from nature and the world around us, choking on the shit that media feeds us...not to imply we are all too dumb to see these things for what they are but it is a pretty huge bombardment of bullshit to sift through. Even though im not better off, I wanna scoop this friend up, take them to a quiet place and rest on a log, listening to the ocean surf, skip rocks and look for beach glass and seashells.... sigh...
ooo if only i could cradle all the beauty in the world....

I just bit off a thumb nail.
I have a sink full of dishes to do....assignments to make up 4 Ayla tomorrow b/c gawd forbid she sit at home and have fun while the teachers are on strike haha.....a letter to write...arg!

Shit for Brains

2005-10-11T22:19:00.000-07:00

yes thats me...shit 4 brains...
i dunno wtf is up with me lately but ive lost my keys 3x in 2 wks and had to crawl in my window twice...tonight I seem to have locked my laundry keys in the laundry room with the laundry that is now dry....its too late now to deal with it and i leave too early in the AM to deal with it so hopefully no one will steal all of our bedding....bedding stealing cocksuckers.

And this is course is icing on the cake of my cootie ridden life...yes its true...my kid is managed to get lice once again...how i dunno but thank fuck for prozac or id be shredding my skin off from the itch. hahahhahaa Sadly, I just got over last yrs trauma and finally wasnt consumed by the *fear*....now here we go again. It'll be another year of me scratching my scalp off via my OCD problem hahaha
I reek like tea tree oil...as does my kid...shes already cried 4384587365987346576 times today b/c apparently im not GENTLE enough when I go through all 99 kazillion strands of her hair...b/c the combs dont work u know (are u all itchy and scratchy now like me? muhahahahah im so evil) - I have 4 of these combs and NONE work...the treatment doesnt work either....so I am of the mindset that diligency is the only way to conquer the evil bastards...wtf is 2 hrs of your day and 45 crying fits? ha!!!!!!
Yeah so thats my life...I fucking rock...

I should probably just go to bed but I know ill lay there scratching myself like a mental patient...and then dream about lice.
Hey if u guys never hear from me again its b/c I got lice and had to book myself into a mental hospital.

holysweetmutherofgawdcocksucker

2005-10-11T06:23:00.000-07:00

I have more zits today then I swear I have had in the last decade.....WTF??????????
but after googling ACNE I actually feel 100x better about my face so I will discontinue this whiney ass piece of shit post now b/c like everything else in life, it could always be worse....in fact now I feel like a model.

Odorlicious

2005-10-11T06:05:00.000-07:00

I smell an odd odor wafting in through my window....it reminds me of a bitter, gross smelling flowers.
I just had the most perfect shower...some mornings im too stupid to adjust the temperature cuz im braindead and asleep still...but some mornings I get it BANG ON and I stand there thinking "holy shit this is like, the most perfect shower ever"...I say this about 4x a week...the other 3 days I am usually too cold.
Teachers are still on strike....
me and the sprog fought a lot yesterday...happy thanksgiving hahaha she better go back to school soon...

laundry....

2005-10-10T09:22:00.000-07:00

yes its laundry day...woot! woot!
ayla is still asleep thank gawd....friday night her and her pals stayed awake until 6 am (retards) so yesterday she was all.....duhhhhhhhhhh
wedding crashers made me howl again last night....fuck i love that movie.
i ate cupcakes for breakfast...i am the living, breathing example of good nutrition, i know....
there are eggs and milk in it...pffft.
tonight its dinner at some friends place...mmm maybe there will be left over turkey?
ASSISTANCE PLEASE:
What the fuck day is it in Australia right now?? CHARLIE....you will know this....If someones b'day is Oct 11....so I send a greetings Oct 10? wtf.
Anyhoo...its my moms birthday today, she is 52. I am 35...i sent her rubber silicone/sylicone (sp) oven mits and fudge for her bday. I opted to keep the used deodorant for a keepsake haha
the whole time I was frantically shopping for her token bday gift Ayla kept saying *I dunno why u get her anything, she hates you and will hate it and never use it anyhow*....fuck that kid is perceptive.
Ok im off to do laundry....and write a paper letter and start a NEW book!

Things I Am Thankful for on Turkey Day (aka Roast Beef Day at Jen's House)

2005-10-09T17:36:00.000-07:00

~im thankful for credit cards
~im thankful for babies that bring a family a new distraction from disfunction
~im thankful for mr maddening, connie, jerri, michelle, laura, deanna, kimmy, tracey and ardene, tracy s, maureen, michaela, erica, christine, cyndy, jody, shawn, lani, krista, tanya, pauline b, pauline t, roisin, gavin, tracy e, dave i, peter, lori, kori, guy, donna, carilyn, ryan, buffy, cheryl, rob, isabel, kellee, jeff, etc etc
~im thankful for having xp pro
~im thankful i do not live in iraq or pakistan or anywhere in midst of hideous war/natural disasters
~im thankful i have all my own teeth
~im thankful for matt good even if he did marry the wrong jen
~im thankful for stove top stuffing that you can make when u are cooking roast beef for thanksgiving dinner
~im thankful for white rainbow cupcakes with chocolate icing
~im thankful for my family who still love me despite being convinced i was an evil satan worshipping teenager
~im thankful i never started to smoke
~im thankful my vice is food and not crack or crystal meth
~im thankful my hair is long even though its thin as fuck and ill be a bald old lady
~im thankful my hairs going grey to remind me im not going to live forever
~im thankful for music or im sure i would have ended up a teenage prostitute in red deer alberta
~im thankful for the time i had with glenn, even if it was too fucking short
~im thankful for watermelon, pistachios, fluoride free toothpaste, rick springfield cds, my jesus statue, vibrators, cordless phones, digital cameras
more later....
by the way the theme today is for GWB who when u google TURKEY comes up in the search far more than im sure he would like HAHAHAHHA

Last night.....

2005-10-08T12:39:00.000-07:00

Look....I got a shirt with COLOR on it!!!!!!!!
Bruce made me drink this on my bday gag!
Shawn's toy hahahaha
Shawn's sexy ass.....
Shawn and I were driving and we started talking about making out at his apt. which is extra funny b/c he is gay and him and I are probably the least likely ppl to EVER make out on the planet.....anyway...we are playng around about making out and I say *I dont think we should...itll wreck the friendship*....of course he HEARS *i dont think we should..itll wreck the furniture* which was way funnier then what I said....although the imagery was disturbing....

well...because I am rich dontcha know!

2005-10-08T10:21:00.000-07:00

yes so I shopped.....
the adventure began with me leaving my keys in the back seat of the taxi.....which I realized right away....so that gave me more time to try to find a fucking payphone so I could call the cab co. Sprog had the cellphone so I hunted for a cocksucking payphone for far too long....called the cab co and they had them at the office....which is near home so no big deal.
Then I get shopping and realize ive left all my gift certificates at home...ugh...which would mean a cab ride home and back again IF I HAD THE KEYS ON ME....which I didn't...anyway I opted to say fuck it and slam it all on a credit card and wait for Ayla and then take it all home (she had keys)...so im shopping away, feeling demoralized and livid that my fat countryman are expected to wear things with glittery giraffes & floral print. Floral anything makes me vomit. So after trying on about 20 things which is odd 4 me...I settled on a buncha crap....and the bill came to 500.00 **insert maniacal laughter here** Never in my life have I spent 500.00 on clothing at one time....in a year for that matter....but I guess b/c I think im rich I did HAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then I got to come home and alter them all b/c despite bucking up 500.00 nothing ever just fits right...nooooooooo....out comes the sewing machine...eyeroll.
After that nightmare...it was Ayla's turn...gawd help me, she is mental. She found a few things but as usual just pouted about me not buying her 100.00 LuLuLemon yoga pants, which are the same fucking thing as the 20.00 variety but just lack the LABEL......so gay soooo gay....I told her if she wanted 100.00 LuLu's she was paying for them herself.
Then we went 4 dinner.....found my mother a bday present.....I opted to keep the used deodorant as a keepsake and not send it back to her.....
Last night Shawn and I went to see Flight Plan which was decent until the last fucking 20 mins....I cant tell u how much I hate movies with crap endings.
Also decided to live in the NOW and upgrades to XP Pro last night...so now my shit looks all modern...woot! woot!
Bruce went out boozing to a peeler bar with his whore-lure aftershave last night....I wish he would just hook up with someone NOW and get the inevitable over with for me so I can stop worrying about it hahaha I mean...at this point I know its not gunna be me so wtf do I care? As long as it's someone who's not gunna fuck him over, that's all I can hope for. If someone could bring him some happiness I'd be all for that....although im sure she will be a skinny tarty twat who I will secretly hate and wish would die in a terrible tragic car crash....ok that's not really true...that's just me being a drama queen as usual. hahahahha but really....I wish he would just do it cuz I think he is worried im a freak...but im not half the freak I am perceived to be about these things...all my freaky deakiness stays in my head...I know when to keep shit to myself b/c its super unstable hahahaha Sometimes I wish he would read my blog...but he snubs it....he thinks its like reading a persons diary and im like *yeahhh duhhhhhhhh that's why they rock!* He thinks its all boring HAHA
No plans for Turkey Day aside from going and grabbing a wee frier chicken and making a mock turkey dinner with all the goodies....I will make it a Jen & Ayla Cooking FreakShow!
Teachers are on strike....and look like they're gunna be all week....that's a lotta chores my kid is gunna be doing while im at work hahahaha
Holy shit this is a boring MARGE post....
Marge was this odd woman on a group I was on once who would DAILY post about each and every boring, moment by moment detail of her boring ass day IE: the mailman just came and there was no mail/I ran out of milk/etc. So since then mindless, boring posts are called MARGE POSTS. Do not be a MARGE.
Hope Maureen's having fun in Halifax....I work tonight then I have 2 days off...and life will be good. WOOT WOOT!!!!!!

Mr Tasty Cake Video Extravaganza!

2005-10-06T23:01:00.000-07:00

http://mrtastycake.blogspot.com/
arggggggggg look @ this video......! it freaks me the fuck out!

memorography

2005-10-06T12:51:00.000-07:00

i am the tech goddess of all the universe.
not really but b/c I have tanya's computer all redone and perfect and overcame a few decent obstacts i now think im queen shit of turd island.
i am still mentally blocking out the reality that i have to shop 4

work clothes today...i swear to gawd i want to die....i will walk into the store fine and leave demoralized and believing i am fully prepared to become bulimic and risk the damage to my

tooth enamel....but then i cant even follow through with that so what is the likelihood ill ever look half as cute as i did 15 yrs ago....? thats right....ITS NOT GUNNA HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

good thing i am not attached to that idea.
so check this out....
im msn'ing my old boyfriend from yrs gone by the other day (he is living it up in australia now) and holy shit we started talking about our old sex life....jen's fondness of giving head...jen's amazing pelvic floor muscle talents...his impeccably sized penis...titty fucking etc...it was a bloody hoot...then i got thinking how dumb i truly was at the time b/c not only did i give up the best BF i have had EVER i gave up the amazing sex that would have surely morphed into something mindboggling had it lasted longer.
how depressing am i? ha!
anyway...he is all married and happy and shit (which is truly wonderful 4 him) so ill have to revisit that part of me with someone else....

its almost 1 pm...guess i cant put it off any longer...gotta go buy a fancy cheese grater and gay work clothes.....pffft.

no i wont model later for u all...u freaks.

Ashes to Ashes

2005-10-06T00:32:00.000-07:00

I am grooving to Faith No More....I met Mike Patton once...when he was singing 4 Mr Bungle at a Vancouver show at the 86th Street Music Hall....early 90's...he was cute as a mofo and so quiet it kinda scared me. I even have an autograph...my touch with greatness...better then moshing with Tommy Lee @ a Pantera concert anyday.

Tonight I have been revamping a friends computer...learned a few new tricks in the process...always good...Shawn always comes to my rescue when I get in over my head...he is my techy guru.

I have tomorrow off...the sprog is buying me a fancy high end cheese grater for my birthday on our travels tomorrow...then I will have to endure clothes shopping for myself...and then for the sprog right after. I will want to die 10 mins into it.

Hockey is back on....any male friends I have will now be MIA during games...this irritates me.
Fuckin hockey. I tried to watch hockey once with my kids dad...I lasted about 15 mins b4 I wandered off to busy myself. I just cant keep up with the fucking puck.

chicks with shaved heads

2005-10-04T20:23:00.000-07:00

I would not suit a bald head...I have a massive head. Hats dont even fit my freakishly fat head. I certainly would not look like Sinead O'Connor or Yvette from Mollies Revenge...they have fabulous faces/heads for such baldness.

Mr Maddening made it home alive....his 15 hr coma after the birthday night out was a bit much but he will survive.
I must eat these damn pistachios I got at costco tonight or my bowels will suffer prolonged agony of pistachio overdose.
One time I watched Titanic (fans her face and gets teary) and sat for all 3.5 hrs eating sunflower seeds and OMFG...not only were my lips all salted and shivelled but ooo man thats way way way too many sunflower seeds in the gut for your body to deal with at one time hahaha trust me. it is not gastrointestinally aviseable.
I dunno why but im reminded of Danielle C. from Ponoka AB...she had the same last name as me @ the time so ppl thought we were related which I always found disturbing...esp after the 1st time I ever went out with her to a party. It began innocently enough...but as she drank and it got later....her pants ended up in the camp fire and by dawn there was a line up outside of a camper where guys were waiting their turn....*shiver*....she ended up walking home wrapped in a blanket, no pants...my mother was a little surprised. I dont even recall how I attempted to explain that....

Too ill to type much...plus im falling asleep...and...i wonder how long a title is allowed to be on this thing b4 they chop it off??

2005-10-02T10:54:00.000-07:00

I made bruce go ask some chick for a gay looking cowboy hat

so I could get a picture of him lookin' 'tarded

It worked damn well....
Evolution....
Bruce's scab...hahahahahahhaa
We ate far too many pistachios!
Ooo this was a cool present...itsa chicken chucker gun...
Me...pre-drunkedness....
The pit stick from mom
all in all...I think its the most rulingest bday ive ever had...A & T made us a fabulous bbq steak dinner and it was so very lovely to be surrounded by ppl I adore...esp ones that made a special trip over to surprise the shyte outta me...

By the way there was no prevy groping...I think I have it through my thick skull now HAHAHA

2005-10-01T16:52:00.000-07:00

ok this is funny as fuck....Barbara and her kid Eva

cooked it up and mailed it to me today as a b'day gift....

I think Jen Good is better off with her own head

though clearly hahahahahahha

I look like I have elephantitis....hahahahahahhaha I'd feel

sorry 4 matt if he married jen the elephantitis girl....

DISCLAIMER: if either of the Good's see this I am so sorry hahahaha

holy ass crack batman!

2005-10-01T06:46:00.000-07:00

ok im still in a bit of shock....i was not expecting mr maddening 2 show up here AT ALL so i think i kinda stared at him weird all night and kept saying AS IF YER HERE!!!! such a trickster!

this will make 4 a memorable 35th alright....and my goal is to not grope him whilst drinking beer....hahaahaha its good 2 have goals!!!!

ok now im off to work...woooooooo fuckin hooooooo

holymotherfuckingshit

2005-09-30T23:25:00.000-07:00

bruce just showed up at my door...........yeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa my birthday rulezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

35 yrs ago TOMORROW....

2005-09-30T23:14:00.000-07:00

in 1970 I ruined my mothers pristine teenage crotch for eternity....yes tomorrow I am 35 and i wasnt going to say anything but I have this funny story to tell u about my mom sending me a bday present....she did well this year....50.00 and some perfume I was out of .... now u all recall the posts about her weird gift giving thing at xmas...?? the gift wrapped douches...tampons...individually wrapped socks...etc? yeah well this year guess what the weirdo token gift was.....?

USED DEODORANT....I shit u not. Ayla howled....and is convinced gramma got it from the Sally Ann. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww my mother is so weird. I dunno what to get her 4 her bday....she hates everything I ever get. Maybe I will send her some used deodorant... ha!

I work tomorrow am...just 4 hrs...then I will pick up my sprog fr her friends....
Mr Maddening is not home tonight so im sitting here forced to tidy my desk area. Rude.... in a perfect world he would be on his way over on the ferry...with a cake in hand (white cake and chocolate icing) and a smile...

I ran to Costco tonight and spent 100.00 on berries, lettuce, chicken, pistachios & other various crap. I have eaten all the pistachios one can eat without dieing from gastrointestinal mangledness...my lips are all salt shrivelled up and feel like im 114 yrs old.

I got an outta the blue phonecall last night....my old pal Renee...been a few yrs since we talked and shes popped out a few more kidlets since then and lives in a new place. Was pretty cool to hear from her...is it just me or is everyone having babies? My ovaries are broken til i am around the smell of a baby....then they start to throb.

Ok...im tired now...I will dream about deodorant I know it......

REMINDER: ask me about the nuts falling!

Sgt Fucktard to the Rescue

2005-09-29T19:55:00.000-07:00

Ooooo today it rained and rained and rained and I was so blissfully happy, even with fucked hair and muddy floors @ work...summer is over and life can beginnnnnnnnn!!!!!! woooohoooooo
Dramatic I know. That's me.

I am sniffing patchouli soap that Deanna sent me.....*inhallllllle*...she sent me a goodie box and it had some cool smelling stuff...the soap though...omg patchouli makes me horny or something...even dirty hippies make me horny if they wear patchouli.

I have some friends in midst of great upheaval...I hope they all weather it alright...its been weighing on my mind all day...you know who you are...

It's Survivor night...I will be unavailable betweem 8 and 9 pm b/c I am a total complete fucking nerd.
Mr Maddening is out eating japanese food with his mama...I made a roast in his honor b/c he always mocks me for only eating chicken. The roast was tasty...although Ayla said it was a little dry...good thing I didnt make it into beef jerky like I prefer it.

Had a good chat with Connie tonight....been hard hooking up with her...everyones busy busy busy...except me...im just tired.
I notice that all summer I was kidless/eating well and not tired...now my kid is home and im tired and slipping back into crap eating.
I cant decide if its the crap eating or my kid thats draining the life force from me...both maybe. Ayla is a blood sucking energy leech...cute as hell and funny but she wears me out man. She makes noise...asks 487, 563, 754, 928, 735, 683, 745, 639, 475 questions...is argumentative...pushing my buttons...etc etc. Nothing unique....kids always drive their kids insane...right? in my family anyway ha!

While looking for hippy pictures I found this guy nursing a baby...how odd...as a breastfeeding nazi/advocate I dunno wtf to think of this picture hhahahahaha

you're crazy to want this...even for a while

2005-09-28T08:46:00.000-07:00

i wish i would stop eating all Isabel's smarties b4 i mail them so i dont have to keep replacing them! arg!
evil nestle products...ill burn in pretend-hell 4 sure.

i think my ex is attempting to suck me into his sick little life via pity and woebegone tales of hardship and loneliness....if he only knew the contempt i hold for him deep down...he would shudder.
he whines about being alone and all i can muster with any kindness is *Look inward*.... hahahah
mean yeah but he earned it.

i stole a hotel cup fr Lori's hotel room on the weekend and just looked at it and its dirty hahahaha
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww as a former chambermaid in lake louise i can assure u nothing in a hotel room is clean even if it appears so.....barf!

im sad UMBRELLALESS isnt on IN A COMA....

i have to work today....at 10 am.
i need a lot of make up today so i better get started.

when you blow out like a dead star...it reminds me of how uniform your beautiful is....

2005-09-27T22:32:00.000-07:00

goddess grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change...

thats my mantra.

i have Mr Maddenings b'day box underway...he is getting the Jen Super Deluxe B'day Box this year since i missed his last 10 birthdays...and it will be full of weirdo shit like he has never seen before! muhahahahahhaa

shit my moms bday is oct 10...i better get on that....gawd knows i enjoy spending $ on her that she never appreciates...it is the reason I live.

i am still listening to IN A COME DISC 2....i swear if I had a cock it would be permanently erect over this...I havent even listened to disc 1 yet!!!

today i was walking home from work and noticed the tree out front that was in midst of turning from green to gold and it reminded me of how my hair goes gray....starts at the tips gray and moves down to the root....the leaves were gold on the end of the branches and then gradually morphed into lush green of summer....
then i got to thinking how life is just one long cycle of seasons...

i am tired...i have 40000000 things to do....but i will put em off for yet another day b/c i hope that by tomorrow i will have conjured up some energy to bother.

i get to work with Lani tomorrow! WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO this is a rare thing these days!

Thought of the Day (thanks Shawn)

2005-09-26T23:54:00.000-07:00

When you feel like nobody loves you,
Nobody cares for you,
And everyone is ignoring you,
You should really ask yourself...

Am I too sexy?

The Last of the Dangling Peanuts

2005-09-26T22:41:00.000-07:00

<--LORI!
CLICK HERE to see a few other Matt Good pics from the other night....blogger is too much of an ass 4 me to put them all on here. Also, if anyone wants a burned copy of ALL the pics and a few video snippets i took, just ask and I will mail you a copy.

IN A COMA came today and I nearly wet myself at the mail box....it is truly fucking fabulous...it is better than I thought and it makes me want to bite my arm very hard, like the handicap do when they get really excited.
Really...the dvd is GRAND...the commentary is....*sputter*....delightful.

As for the show...Mrs Good was not in attendance...I thouight I saw her rocking out in the back but w/o my glasses it was some other blonde.
The Morning Guy LAYNE on the Zone Radio Station said the show was so-so....said Matt's set was short and kinda mellow and now I officially hate Layne the Morning Bitch b/c that was a totally retarded perception of the night and if I could I'd shave his balls with a dull razor. I dunno how any real MG fan could have been anything BUT in awe. Turd.

There was this guy there with a MG looking sweater and MGB patch sewed on (with red pokey wild hair and glasses)...i dunno who he was but he entertained me all night...he was so into it and his outfit just made it all perfect somehow. I wanted to offer him these pictures but I didnt want to appear like a Matt Good Look A-Like Stalker Type Chick.

So yeah IN A COMA is giving me a huge boner...im not even DONE exploring it and im alreayd completely satisfied....better than most of the sex Ive ever had in my life.

Oh Isabel...you're hot
Laura, thanks for the pictures of you and the pets...great job! -->
Lori...do you have a gag reflex?
Arika..congrats on day 1 @ the new job! and sorry yer dads a wanker.
Kori...you are a fucking shopping cart, didnt u know?
My kid made a documentary the other day on how to microwave mac n cheese....and an hours worth of really weirdo Ayla stuff and I gotta say...she is one funny frikkin kid...that shit is gunna be brilliant to watch when shes a grown up.
<--Laura

La CooKaaRawcha

2005-09-26T22:13:00.000-07:00

Kori went on Speakers Corner...hahah

and what u dont see here is Lori shaking her ass in the background HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Arika
A sign only found in Canada
Kori the elevator climber
Arika starring as UMA THURMAN!!!
Kori demonstrating his newly acquired bum licking technique
this is what u get when u let a guy take yer camera to the can with him

Finally...

2005-09-26T19:58:00.000-07:00

Kori acting like a girly girl...

Even when I told Kori that the hotel laundry bin was full of spunked sheets etc he didnt HURRY out of it.....freak
Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Kori using his mock titty cleavage to hold his Corona

and....

2005-09-26T19:11:00.000-07:00

Jen w/ witch hair hahahhaa

Goofy sign only found in Canada im sure...
Arika the Sexy Bitch
Jen the Grumpy Bitch
Lani the Drunken Flailer Bitch